I was sitting in on a counseling session being led by another pastoral counselor. He was trying to get the person he was counseling to forgive an individual who had hurt them in the past. To make his point he said, "you must drop the charges." I immediately saw in my mind a person standing before a judge and the judge saying, "I'm dropping the charges!" That is exactly what we all must do in order to forgive others. Forgiveness doesn't mean that we are condoning a wrong or pretending it never happened. It is simply making a decision to let it go. Someone has said that "refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and thinking it is hurting the other person." The other person has probably moved on and may not be even aware of you or your struggle. You need to forgive for you. Forgiveness is a decision that is made between a person and God. We make the decision and God gives the power or grace to truly be healed from the effects of holding on to an offense. There can be no healing and restoration until forgiveness is complete.
Forgiveness is not a feeling. Jesus told us to forgive. He would never ask us to do anything that He wasn't ready and empowered to do for us. Forgiveness is an action not a feeling. Once we act by forgiving very specifically, He releases within us His power of cleansing and healing. That means we need to get alone and verbally forgive with our thoughts and words everything that comes to mind about the person we need to forgive. Let it out! The stream may be difficult to start but it often turns into a torrent of emotions. There is a principle at work here. Romans 10:9-10 tells us that salvation comes as we do two things. First, we believe in our heart and secondly we confess with our mouth. This principle of God works in every area of life, not just for salvation. Make the decision to forgive. That is the hardest part. There is this subconscious thing that doesn't want to forgive because it doesn't want to release the person from responsibility. That subconscious decision keeps a person bound to the offender and the offense. Make the decision to forgive and verbally speak the specific offenses for which you are forgiving. You will be amazed at the results!
One last thing, forgiveness is present and progressive. While forgiveness is spiritually complete the moment it is confessed, it may take time to get completely free in your emotions. Because forgiveness is not a feeling, uprisings of feelings are common and does not mean a person has not forgiven. It usually takes time for painful memories to lose their sting. However, like peeling an onion, verbal forgiveness in an ongoing way will bring total healing in time.
If you find yourself still holding on to painful memories, remember they are sabotaging your tomorrow.
Take action this very moment and open the door on a fresh start.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
You or Us?
When I entered the full time Christian ministry in the early 1970's, the emphasis was on becoming the best minister you could become. The emphasis was on the ONE being prepared for the ministry. The outward emphasis was that which, once you were trained, proceeded from the minister. Then there would be this ongoing, lifelong ministry of improving and becoming better at what you did.
During this time there was teaching on the Priesthood of the Believer and there was some activation of others into ministry. But deep in the heart of many of those preparing this new "priesthood" was an abiding attitude that still saw the believer, the church member as being second rate in ability. History would reveal that much of those ministry efforts were shallow but a closer evaluation of the cause was a lack of ministry development within the ranks of the church. The primary reason? A wrong focus on developing the believer by the "full time ministers". This was true primarily because their focus was on "their ministry". Paradigms are slow to change. Examples of slow changing paradigms are racism and gender prejudice. While society smiles and says the change has occurred, practice reveals that total change takes generations. The same is true within the church.
One of the primary differences between Old Testament and New Testament ministry patterns is the difference between "me and us". The old testament has many examples of singular leaders ("me")who do exploits, stand out as champions and are held in high esteem by those following them. It is so tempting to want to be one of those dynamic leaders. After all, Hollywood doesn't make movies about teams and if they do there is always one hero who stands head and shoulders above all the rest. The new testament leadership pattern is one of TEAM("us"). I have said this many times before in this blog and other venues but it is a slowly embraced concept in a culture of hero worship. People in the church have got to change their thinking about sitting and watching a show but it will never happen until the one behind the pulpit is willing to change their ministry mentality and take their primary focus away from Me and put it more on US. The "Show" has to change. Rather than our main group gatherings being centered around production it must move to training, preparing and activating the people in the crowd, the CHURCH. Oh yeah, by the way, people can come to know Christ in that setting too!
When I entered the full time Christian ministry in the early 1970's, the emphasis was on becoming the best minister you could become. The emphasis was on the ONE being prepared for the ministry. The outward emphasis was that which, once you were trained, proceeded from the minister. Then there would be this ongoing, lifelong ministry of improving and becoming better at what you did.
During this time there was teaching on the Priesthood of the Believer and there was some activation of others into ministry. But deep in the heart of many of those preparing this new "priesthood" was an abiding attitude that still saw the believer, the church member as being second rate in ability. History would reveal that much of those ministry efforts were shallow but a closer evaluation of the cause was a lack of ministry development within the ranks of the church. The primary reason? A wrong focus on developing the believer by the "full time ministers". This was true primarily because their focus was on "their ministry". Paradigms are slow to change. Examples of slow changing paradigms are racism and gender prejudice. While society smiles and says the change has occurred, practice reveals that total change takes generations. The same is true within the church.
One of the primary differences between Old Testament and New Testament ministry patterns is the difference between "me and us". The old testament has many examples of singular leaders ("me")who do exploits, stand out as champions and are held in high esteem by those following them. It is so tempting to want to be one of those dynamic leaders. After all, Hollywood doesn't make movies about teams and if they do there is always one hero who stands head and shoulders above all the rest. The new testament leadership pattern is one of TEAM("us"). I have said this many times before in this blog and other venues but it is a slowly embraced concept in a culture of hero worship. People in the church have got to change their thinking about sitting and watching a show but it will never happen until the one behind the pulpit is willing to change their ministry mentality and take their primary focus away from Me and put it more on US. The "Show" has to change. Rather than our main group gatherings being centered around production it must move to training, preparing and activating the people in the crowd, the CHURCH. Oh yeah, by the way, people can come to know Christ in that setting too!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Perpetuating A Legacy
A legacy is something handed down from the past. I have always been a little uncomfortable with "trying" to leave a legacy from my own deliberate efforts so that the world will remember that I had been here and left my mark. Rather, for me at least, it seems more fitting to walk in unison with the Holy Spirit, obey his dictates and leave any legacy with the Lord. Another thing about a legacy is that, even though we can leave a legacy, there is no guarantee that the next generation who inherits the legacy will perpetuate it. Legacy perpetuation depends upon the ones who pick up the baton being moved from an internal legacy and not simply an external one.
My wife Teresa's mother, Melba Brown just went to heaven after celebrating her 93rd birthday. She was a Spirit-filled believer in Jesus for over 70 years! I was honored by being asked to speak at her memorial service. As I was in prayer regarding the service, the thought came to me that while we were facing the end of a generation it wasn't the end of a legacy. The challenge for those of us who remain and have been influenced by the life of the departed is take on the responsibility of extending those qualities. It can't really be a thoughtful effort. That is artificial. To try to perpetuate a legacy is as artificial as trying to leave one in the first place. As the family was gathering for the funeral, one of my children said, "I'm glad I was raised the way your raised us. I believe it makes us who we are." Well, that can be a scary thought but I could tell it was meant to be a compliment. It had just happened in a normal organic way of being family.
Teresa's Mother and Father were precious "salt of the earth" people. Her mother lost her father when she was 9, the year was 1929, the beginning of the great depression. She had difficult teenage years and married the love of her life, Frank Brown in yet another infamous year, 1941. This was the beginning of World War II. The war impacted most everyone on the earth and especially the Brown family. He went to war as a tail gunner on a B-25 in Europe and she stayed home, worked and prayed. They came out of it changed but rather than becoming victims by the era they were honed by it. Those experiences became a part of their psyche and soul. That strength was imparted to their children. I can tell you as an onlooker and participant that the legacy, while shaped by circumstances, has been perpetuated and a good legacy it is.
Relax and enjoy life! Work hard, live for Jesus and obey him. You may not even see it in your lifetime but you will leave a good legacy and the Holy Spirit will be the steward of it for posterity.
A legacy is something handed down from the past. I have always been a little uncomfortable with "trying" to leave a legacy from my own deliberate efforts so that the world will remember that I had been here and left my mark. Rather, for me at least, it seems more fitting to walk in unison with the Holy Spirit, obey his dictates and leave any legacy with the Lord. Another thing about a legacy is that, even though we can leave a legacy, there is no guarantee that the next generation who inherits the legacy will perpetuate it. Legacy perpetuation depends upon the ones who pick up the baton being moved from an internal legacy and not simply an external one.
My wife Teresa's mother, Melba Brown just went to heaven after celebrating her 93rd birthday. She was a Spirit-filled believer in Jesus for over 70 years! I was honored by being asked to speak at her memorial service. As I was in prayer regarding the service, the thought came to me that while we were facing the end of a generation it wasn't the end of a legacy. The challenge for those of us who remain and have been influenced by the life of the departed is take on the responsibility of extending those qualities. It can't really be a thoughtful effort. That is artificial. To try to perpetuate a legacy is as artificial as trying to leave one in the first place. As the family was gathering for the funeral, one of my children said, "I'm glad I was raised the way your raised us. I believe it makes us who we are." Well, that can be a scary thought but I could tell it was meant to be a compliment. It had just happened in a normal organic way of being family.
Teresa's Mother and Father were precious "salt of the earth" people. Her mother lost her father when she was 9, the year was 1929, the beginning of the great depression. She had difficult teenage years and married the love of her life, Frank Brown in yet another infamous year, 1941. This was the beginning of World War II. The war impacted most everyone on the earth and especially the Brown family. He went to war as a tail gunner on a B-25 in Europe and she stayed home, worked and prayed. They came out of it changed but rather than becoming victims by the era they were honed by it. Those experiences became a part of their psyche and soul. That strength was imparted to their children. I can tell you as an onlooker and participant that the legacy, while shaped by circumstances, has been perpetuated and a good legacy it is.
Relax and enjoy life! Work hard, live for Jesus and obey him. You may not even see it in your lifetime but you will leave a good legacy and the Holy Spirit will be the steward of it for posterity.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Opinions
I'm sitting here pondering from experience if opinions have produced more good or bad. At the moment my recollection is coming down on the side of bad. There is an old adage about opinions that would not be proper for this venue but it ends by saying, "everybody has one." The dictionary defines the word opinion as "a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge." We are so fickle and easily persuaded that opinion should be one of the last things that we would use to make serious decisions. Most of our opinions have been formed by others or by partial information. How many times have you had a favorable opinion about someone until someone else shared some juicy tidbit about them that left you tainted toward the person. There is no fact or evidence that the information is true but you are now ruined in regard to viewing the person in an impartial way. When a jury is sequestered during a trial it is because of past experiences in the court system. At the end of each day of the trial the Judge orders the jury that they are not to talk to anyone about the trial. Why? Because the Judge wants the person to remain impartial and unbiased regarding the one on trial, and only letting evidence have an impact on them toward the verdict.
It seems that the world has once again done a better job at justice than the Church. The Word of God tells us that brothers should not take brothers to court and that there should be enough wisdom in the church leadership to handle such situations. Yet, often even leadership gets influenced in some negative way that hinders Godly justice. One of the most deadly pollutants of all is the formation of alliances in the church and especially in leadership. Leadership should be able to come to the leadership table unbiased and without an opinion with an open heart to hear evidence and the voice of the Holy Spirit. For that reason our leadership in years past were asked not to meet to discuss church matters of pending business apart from the leadership table. It is God's will that His wisdom and direction come from the combined diversified wisdom of the individual in the group. If even two had already formed an opinion at some lunch meeting discussion, the system was now broken from accomplishing God's intent.
May we approach every situation and every person "wise as serpents and harmless as doves." May we at the very least do as good a job as the world and see everyone as "innocent until proven guilty."
I'm sitting here pondering from experience if opinions have produced more good or bad. At the moment my recollection is coming down on the side of bad. There is an old adage about opinions that would not be proper for this venue but it ends by saying, "everybody has one." The dictionary defines the word opinion as "a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge." We are so fickle and easily persuaded that opinion should be one of the last things that we would use to make serious decisions. Most of our opinions have been formed by others or by partial information. How many times have you had a favorable opinion about someone until someone else shared some juicy tidbit about them that left you tainted toward the person. There is no fact or evidence that the information is true but you are now ruined in regard to viewing the person in an impartial way. When a jury is sequestered during a trial it is because of past experiences in the court system. At the end of each day of the trial the Judge orders the jury that they are not to talk to anyone about the trial. Why? Because the Judge wants the person to remain impartial and unbiased regarding the one on trial, and only letting evidence have an impact on them toward the verdict.
It seems that the world has once again done a better job at justice than the Church. The Word of God tells us that brothers should not take brothers to court and that there should be enough wisdom in the church leadership to handle such situations. Yet, often even leadership gets influenced in some negative way that hinders Godly justice. One of the most deadly pollutants of all is the formation of alliances in the church and especially in leadership. Leadership should be able to come to the leadership table unbiased and without an opinion with an open heart to hear evidence and the voice of the Holy Spirit. For that reason our leadership in years past were asked not to meet to discuss church matters of pending business apart from the leadership table. It is God's will that His wisdom and direction come from the combined diversified wisdom of the individual in the group. If even two had already formed an opinion at some lunch meeting discussion, the system was now broken from accomplishing God's intent.
May we approach every situation and every person "wise as serpents and harmless as doves." May we at the very least do as good a job as the world and see everyone as "innocent until proven guilty."
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