There is deep within all a desire to be recognized. The yearning to be admired by peers and to be seen as greater than ones own accomplishments. I am reminded of King Saul when he was confronted with his sin by the Prophet Samuel. Unlike the brokenness of King David when he found himself in a similar situation, Saul acknowledged his sin but had a request of self interest. He asked the Prophet to go with him before the elders and Israel an an act of personal honor. "Honor me" he said. How can one be honored when he has dishonored himself and most of all God. Yet, this was very important to Saul. He was more interested in looking like a righteousness man than being a righteous man. What a terrible thing Saul asked, "Honor me now!" The cry came from deep within his own heart and deeper still from within the corporate heart of mankind. We all, regardless of how we resist it, have an innate yearning to be exalted. It took it's origin in Lucifer in heaven and was cast out of heaven to find a new lodging on earth in human form. " Honor me now" has been echoing throughout the universe ever since. It even can be heard in the church.
In the early 1970's I was first exposed to what was called the five-fold ministry teaching based on Ephesians chapter 4. I saw a powerful explanation of a functioning model of Kingdom Building in the earth through the Church. It revealed the uniting of spiritual gifts in the church that could be identified, trained and activated by the ministry gifts of apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers, the five fold ministry. I was having coffee one day with a man who said the Lord spoke to him and told him that I was not a true pastor but that I was an apostle. I had already started two churches as this point and was on my way to begin a third congregation. I hadn't had a title up to that point. The name or title bothered me internally and even embarrassed me. Yet, I must admit that it felt good in a deeper place. Too good! Through the decades since I became known and was even introduced in meetings as an apostle. It always was a bit troubling and yet it seemed to be the way the church world was going. I did see that it could be a positive thing in the sense of having recognized leaders that could function and help build the church. If it could help me serve the Church in a better way then that would be a good thing. However, the discomfort never went away. Once it was even suggested that we apostles be called Bishops and be ordained as such. I couldn't even be a part of that discussion. Looking back now I realize that these titles, at least for me, were not helping me to be a better servant but actually creating an elevated position where I could be better served. I must say this loud and clear; I am not saying that others who are carrying titles are wrong or desiring elevation or to be served. I cannot judge others but I can judge my own heart. Many years ago when others of my peers were choosing to wear clerical collars for a sign of humility was for me a sign of pride. I wanted to do it and wanted to justify it. For me, and me only, I could not.
Where has it taken us? Again, I can't answer for any heart but my own. My heart apart from Jesus is an evil thing. It desires recognition and elevation all the while wanting that true motivation hidden from man. Why does it matter? It matters because Jesus has redeemed and emancipated His Bride, His Church. Leaders in the Church must be men and women who desire from the heart to help liberate, equip and activate with no provision for self exaltation. It seems to me that titles have not truly helped in that cause. We all must decide for ourselves but many good lives have been ruined and many humble servants have become proud because of a simple Title. Our heart cry must be, "EXALT HIM!" It must not be honor me.
