It's not about me...REALLY?
I was born as the first child in my family. I was the first grandchild on one side and the first male grandchild on the other side. That's a formula for being very self centered! Oh, believe me, I was disciplined. I was paddled at school and "whipped" at home. Yet, I had already realized that I was "special". No beating could stop the flow of thoughts that said, "you can send roadblocks, but you can't stop me because I have a destiny. I'm not like the rest of you. I dared not say what I was thinking deep within my heart because it seemed so prideful. However, in the deepest recesses of my meditation, I knew I was better than most! It was fed along the way. Grandmother Joiner was my greatest fan. I could do no wrong. I remember Mrs. Minchew in elementary school telling a crowd in my presence while she was directing a play, "give L. A. the part, he'll do anything"! Man, healing, affirmation and personal ignition at the same time.
Now, I know what you are thinking, that's what everyone needs. Everyone needs to have that kind of confidence and self esteem. It sounds good, but while it does reflect qualities of potential leadership, it also speaks of raw material that must be broken and reshaped if God can every truly use it for His purposes. You see that is the kind of thinking that caused men like King Saul to bypass the instructions of the Lord because he was sure that he not only had a better idea, but once God saw how good his plan was, the Lord would surely reward him for his initiative. You see, within that thinking is the powerful deception that it really is about me. It's not!
When Moses died and God was about to take Israel into the promised land through the leadership of Joshua, the Lord required a new circumcision for a new generation. It was a season of "firsts". No more manna, a new method of following God, a new leadership team, a new test of fatih and a new generation. Joshua was a new leader but he had witnessed the old and he had risen from the ashes of the old to be the new leader for a new day. He must be pretty special. Then reality came. Right at that moment a figure appears from nowhere that wasn't a part of the familiar mix. Joshua speaks to the man and says, ""Are You for us or for our adversaries?" Listen carefully to the heart of this message. Joshua only saw two possibilities. He saw that the entire world circled around "us and and our adversaries". It's all about me, my plans and the obstacles to those plans. I'm working for God and I will not be stopped. I will build this church, this ministry, this business and when I'm finished, I will give God all the Glory! What rubbish! What self centeredness! What blindness! The answer came back fast and clear, "NO"! He wasn't about either "you or them". ""No, but as Commander of the army of the LORD I have now come." And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped, and said to Him, "What does my Lord say to His servant?"
Maybe today you find yourself worn out from the battle. Maybe you are even blinded by the bitterness toward all the opposition. Maybe there is even a hint of anger toward God for not helping you more in your endeavor. Maybe, just maybe, it's time to see clearly that it's not about you nor them. Really, it's not about you! It's about Him and His Kingdom. Why don't we pause now, fall on our faces and worship? Then and only then are we able to ask with hearing ears, "what does my Lord say to His servant"?